Wayward Phrases
by Miratete
Summary: G1: Ironhide had liked Carly ever since she first wedged her way into the lives of the Autobots. And when she showed up at his door one night, looking cold and lonely and asking for something unexpected, he wasn't about to turn her away. Confusing colloquialisms had led to a misunderstanding... but that didn't stop them.
1. Making Requests

**Wayward Phrases**

-o-o-o-o-o-

 **Chapter 1: Making Requests**

-o-o-o-o-o-

Carly gave up. At this rate, she wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon.

She'd always known she needed a warm bed at night, which had never been a problem since moving in with the Autobots for the summer. Despite the fact that the Ark remained a steady 61ºF year-round, she'd spent her nights cuddled up in Bumblebee's berth, allowing his internal heat to warm her. Or if Bumblebee were out she snuggled in with Spike. The latter was less preferable for she ended up spending too much time fending of under-aged hands.

But tonight they were both away and would be for the next week. Tomorrow she'd go into town and get an electric blanket, but until then another solution had to be found.

Wrapping her bathrobe over her pajamas and grabbing her blanket and pillow, she left Bumblebee's quarters. And stepping out into the hall she immediately noted the small blue dot on the door panel across the hall. Ironhide was home. Perfect!

She knocked on the door, and a minute later it opened. Ironhide stood there, and not seeing anyone, he leaned out and looked along the hallway.

"Down here, Ironhide."

The mech's gaze fell to her, and a smile came across his face. "Well hey there, Carly. What's up?"

"Me," she huffed. "Could I come sleep with you? I really need a warm up."

The red mech's mouth fell open slightly. "Uh, well, I guess. But, what about Spike and Bumblebee?" he asked.

"They're away on that mission to Argentina, and it's just too cold to sleep alone." She put on a sweet smile, hoping it would help convince the old warrior to take her in.

"I see." He leaned out again, arm on the doorframe, and looked up and down the hallway in the Ark's residential area. And then he looked down at her again. "Don't'cha think I'm a bit big for you though?"

"I'm not worried. But, if you think you are, I could go ask someone else if they wouldn't mind me spending the night." She looked down the hall herself, scanning for blue indicator lights.

Ironhide crouched. "Oh, no, no. You don't have to do that, if you're not afraid of my size... compared to yours."

"Ironhide, you're not going to roll over and squash me," she laughed lightly.

"You really want to sleep with me? You know...share my berth?"

"Well yes," she said firmly. "I normally do with Bumblebee, but since he and Spike are gone..."

He looked up and down the hall yet again. "Well, all right. If you're sure about this." He stepped back and gestured into his quarters. "Come on in and I'll be happy to warm you up all you need."

She smiled. Soon her shivering would stop. "Thank you so much Ironhide. This is wonderful of you."

"My pleasure," he said, smiling broadly.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Ironhide's quarters were a larger scale version of Bumblebee's, furnished the same way... a recessed berth, a couple of chairs, a worktable, a "coffee table," storage units, and a computer screen. Carly went right to the berth, threw her pillow and blanket up onto it, and vaulted up herself. She sighed happily on finding it warm already. The lamp above the pillow was on, and the flickering datapad on the pillow explained it all. He'd tucked down but had been reading in bed. Carly made herself comfortable next to the pillow, lying at the edge of the warm patch.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked. And then he looked embarrassed. "I guess I don't really have anything to offer a human, besides water. Unless you've started drinking energon."

She laughed at his teasing. "I'm fine. But thank you for thinking of me. And don't let me interrupt whatever you were doing. I'm okay with the light."

He only smiled. "I think I've done enough reading for tonight," he said and climbed onto the berth. He lay on his side facing her, pulled the large canvas sheet up over both of them, and turned the setting on the light down to gentle glow. It had seemed strange to her at first that the Autobots liked to recharge with a blanket over them. A few even preferred liked to recharge in vehicular mode and had mail-ordered custom car covers for themselves.

Carly snuggled down, feeling much better already. She heard the tinkling chimes of Ironhide switching off his datapad for the night. And then she felt his hand upon her, which then curled slightly and pulled her closer to himself. "Mmmm... even warmer," she purred and snuggled against his hand through her blanket.

"Soon you'll be plenty warm," he said smoothly, a bit of a seductive tone in his voice. "Me too."

Carly settled her head deeper into her pillow as Ironhide began stroking her from head to heel, his strong hand running delicately over her hair, across her shoulders, down her back, past her hips, along her thighs, and down her calves. At her feet his hand lifted and returned to her head again to repeat the motion. "Mmmm...Ironhide. That feels nice," Carly complimented his petting. Sometimes she felt just like a kitten to the Autobots—a small local creature they liked to keep around for companionship.

A pleased sound rumbled from his vocalizer. And after a while, the stroking slowed and became more personal... more exploratory. She felt him shift, and the change in sound indicated that he'd brought his head closer to her. Gently he pressed his faceplate against her and kissed her back. And in stunned silence she lay there as he peeled away the blanket and repeated the kiss without the thick cloth between them. She could feel the delicate motions of his lip-components through her pajamas. And then he pushed up the pajama top and kissed the bared skin of her back.

This time she gasped loudly, and he pulled away suddenly. "I'm sorry. Are my lips cold?"

"No, not cold... It's just that..."

"Don't you like kissing? I thought you did. I see you and Spike kiss each other sometimes."

"Oh..." She lay there, still somewhat stunned that Ironhide had just kissed her so intimately. "No... It's just that I wasn't expecting it. I do like kissing."

"May I kiss you again in that case?"

She didn't have a reason to stop him. In fact it did feel nice. Bumblebee usually gave her a goodnight kiss or two on the top of her head when they tucked down. "Please."

Ironhide leaned back in and resumed... this time covering Carly from head to toe with warm affection. And she enjoyed the gentle press of his lip components and the slight electrical tingle whenever his lips contacted bare skin. And the kissing and massaging continued, mech slowly rolling her about with his hand, and into his hand, to expose her to more contact.

She hated to say it, but after a while, Ironhide seemed... aroused. The hot whirring of his servos and the tiny moans escaping his vocalizer, combined with his eager groping of her body and the erotic sound of whatever he was whispering to her in Cybertronian all suggested it. The Autobots usually spoke English, but when agitated, excited, frightened, or impassioned they commonly switched back to their native language.

And she gasped again when one of his fingers caught the elasticized waistband of her pajama pants and began to tug them down. "Ah, Ironhide. You can leave my clothes on," she said, a bit flustered.

"Mmm? I'm going to have a hard time going any further if I don't. And I didn't want to rip your clothes."

"Going any further?" She rolled out of his hand onto the padding of the berth. "Uh...Ironhide? What... what were you going to do?"

"Just what you asked for."

Her throat closed involuntarily and she fought to speak. "What I asked for?"

"A warm up. I thought you were ready. Did I misread your state? I've not had any actual experience with humans. Other organics yes, but no humans."

"Um... I just wanted to come sleep with you because I was cold and couldn't get warm. You sound like... like."

Blue optics flickered nervously. "You came to my door half an hour ago and asked me for sex."

"What!?"

"You asked if you could sleep with me. That's what you humans say when you want to engage in sex, isn't it? And you asked for a warm up, and then if you could share my berth. That's what we call it. Both things."

"Oh geeze," Carly choked. "I did say that, didn't I? That's not what I meant though. I just wanted to sleep somewhere warm. You know. Real sleep. Recharge. I get cold at night."

Ironhide pulled away and flopped his head down onto the pillow, venting heavily. And then he giggled. And then to laugh. "Stupid colloquialisms."

"Oh gosh. I can't believe... I didn't realize that you'd... I'm sorry, Ironhide."

"It's okay, Carly. It was just a misunderstanding," he chuckled. "I'm not hurt or offended or anything. It's actually pretty funny."

"It is. I really am sorry though."

"Don't worry about it. And you're welcome to stay. And I'd guess you're plenty warm by now. I sure am."

She found her pillow and tucked back down, settling once more beneath them as Ironhide straightened out his own bedding. And when they were lying still again, she listened to his cooling fans slow and his charged systems cycle back down into a more rested state. But even as her own body was relaxing, her mind was racing. "So, you Cybertronians... have a kind of sexual activity as well?"

"A kind of? We're as serious about it as you humans are. Perhaps not as preoccupied though."

"Even though you're robots?"

He chuckled again. "Believe me. We've got some pretty specialized parts for it. I guess it would seem pretty weird to you, since robots are just machines on this planet, without a need for sex."

"It does seem weird. But you've also... been with organic creatures... in that way?"

"A few. Ages ago. You know, when you're out in other parts of the galaxy, getting to know the locals, it happens."

She sat up and looked over at him. He was lying back on his pillow with his optics turned off.

"Ah... Ironhide?"

His optics switched back on.

"Would you show me?" she said shyly, aghast at herself for being so curious about it, and for wanting to try.

"You want to know about it? Really?"

"Yes. And...maybe we could pick up where we left off?"

He turned his head to look at her. "You don't think I'm too big?"

It was her turn to giggle. "Now I know why you asked me that earlier. And no, I still don't think so." She caught the waistband of her pajama bottoms with her thumb and pulled them down enough on one side to show a little skin—an enticing visual come-on to let him know she was serious about this.

Ironhide rolled back onto his side facing her. "Well then, if you're sure, I'd be happy to show you."

-o-o-o-o-o-

" **Wayward Phrases" continues in Chapter 2: Making Plans**

-o-o-o-o-o-

 _Transformers_ and all related concepts, characters, worlds, and events are property of Hasbro and Takara Tomy. Original characters and story elements are property of E. Potter, writing under the pen name of Miratete.


	2. Making Plans

**Wayward Phrases**

-o-o-o-o-o-

 **Chapter 2: Making Plans**

-o-o-o-o-o-

Some hours later Carly woke, and when she remembered where she was and what transpired perhaps an hour or two ago, she smiled and shuddered with delight at the memories. Beside her, Ironhide lay in deep recharge, the expression on his face absolutely blissful. In fact this was the most contented he'd looked since she'd met him out in the forest that strange and fateful day.

She stood to turn off the lamp above the bed, but on catching a glimpse of her arm, she paused and looked down at herself. Her skin was peppered with incriminatory flecks and blotches of drying transfluid, the nanite-rich blood of Cybertronian-kind. Apparently the exchange or loss of such was part of their process. She'd definitely need to shower before anyone saw her.

Turning off the light, she snuggled into her blanket again and rolled up against Ironhide's arm. His hand flexed gently around her, and they both sighed happily.

-o-o-o-o-o-

In the morning Ironhide woke her with a nuzzle of his faceplate to her bare skin. "Good morning, darling," he whispered and kissed her, pressing his lips to hers.

Carly eagerly kissed him back.

"I hope you're not too weirded out by last night," he said. "I know that must have been a lot different from what you know of us." And then he chuckled. "When you said you were sleeping with Bumblebee... I thought... well... that he'd decided to take you as a lover."

"Well, I was sleeping with him, literally. Not in the way I 'slept' with you last night." Holding her blanket modestly about herself she stood and kissed him again. "And thank you for being patient with me while 'breaking me in'," she said sweetly.

"It was an honor and a pleasure, darling."

"Would you mind if I took a bath in your sink before I leave?" She held up an arm and looked at it, a greyish-blue patina of dried transfluid coating it in places. "I got a bit sticky last night."

His dark grey hands pulled away her blanket and looked her up and down. "A bit?" he teased.

Ironhide carried her to the sink in the alcove at the back of his quarters, placed her on the counter, and filled it with warm water for her. As she climbed in, he knelt at the vanity and insisted on washing her with a soapy wet towel, lovingly smiling and petting her all the while. He was obviously enjoying having her there to pay attention to. "I have work duty in the weapons bay for the next ten hours," he sighed. "But after that I'm free. Could I take you into town for dinner tonight? Or maybe we could go for a long drive, or out stargazing and snuggling?" He drained the sink and turned the tap on again to rinse her off.

"A date?"

Ironhide suddenly looked a little embarrassed again. "Well, I guess so."

Her face fell. "I'm already dating Spike. We're a couple."

"Are you exclusive?"

"Yeah. I know that last night shouldn't have happened, but it did, and I certainly don't regret it."

"I see."

"I should have stopped myself, but I was just so curious. And really turned on."

At this Ironhide's flat expression perked into a smile. He lifted her from the sink when she was fully rinsed off and wrapped her into a dry towel, cradling her and patting away the water. "I do have a thing for females, you know. If you need a little more of your curiosity satisfied again, I'd love to have you back."

"I wasn't too small for you?" she asked flirtatiously.

"Nope. And hey, if you'd like to stay every night that Bumblebee and Spike are away, I'd love to have you here, even if it's just for recharge."

Carly looked up at the huge red robot who was tenderly patting her hair dry. "I could come over again tonight. I do need to stay warm."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Carly ended up going out for a drive that evening with him to a vista point where they talked and watched the waxing moon sink into the west. And afterward she ended up moving into his quarters. Later, after tucking into his berth, and despite good intentions of 'just for recharge,' the mutual exploration of their xenophilia continued.

As they cuddled together afterward, Carly sprawled atop Ironhide's chest, his hand stroked her back lazily while her fingers toyed with a transformation seam. "It must feel really good when you're in bed with Spike," he mused. "You're so soft and pliable...but if both of you are..."

"Ah... actually, I haven't had sex with Spike."

"You haven't?" He sounded somewhat surprised.

"No... because... well, he's too young."

"Too young? I thought he was sexually mature. I mean I knew he was young, but I thought he'd transitioned to adulthood."

She sighed bemusedly. "Barely. But there's a certain age considered socially appropriate for our culture." And then she sighed frustratedly. "Two more years."

"And then he'll be old enough? And you'll start with him?"

"I expect to."

Ironhide chuckled. "So you're not sleeping with either Bumblebee or Spike. No wonder you took me up on my offer. You must have been awfully frustrated."

She huffed something of a sardonic laugh. "So I guess until then I'll just have to sneak over here for that sort of attention."

He pulled her closer to his head and kissed her. "My door's always unlocked to you, darling. And you may want to cozy up to Bumblebee too, for when I'm gone or at least stuck in the medbay."

"With Bumblebee?" she asked.

"I'm sure he'd be happy to take care of you too. He loves you and Spike, and would do anything for either of you."

"But... but that?"

"Of course."

"And wait... you would be happy to share me with another mech? Just like that?"

"Well of course, unless you wanted to be exclusive. But then that would mean you abandoning Spike."

She sat up suddenly. "No, I don't want to abandon anyone. But really? You would be all right with me sleeping with Bumblebee? Well, I guess I have been sleeping with him already," she laughed.

"I guess we Cybertronians do things a little differently when it comes to relationships." And then he looked up at her, silhouetted by the lamp at the foot of the berth. "I'd like to take you into what we call a 'guardian partner' relationship, if that would be all right with you."

"What's that?"

"A special relationship between an older more experienced mech and one that's much younger. I look after you and see to your needs, both emotional and physical. I'd basically be teaching you the ropes of having a relationship... a Cybertronian kind of relationship that is. It's more than just sex. A lot more."

"That sounds pretty good actually... But what about Spike? I think he'd have a fit if he knew I was yours as well."

"I understand." His fingers twisted a lock of her hair. "We could keep it secret from him. If you're okay with such a relationship in the first place. Given how things went last night, and tonight, it just seems that I'm able to provide you what you're not getting with him. I never realized that you and he were celibate. And there's so much more I can teach you about love than he could."

"Yeah, well... I guess we humans a bit naive or hung up on some things."

"Would be be willing to give it a try?"

Carly sat there in thought for a moment, her fingers circling a sensor node she'd found. And then she leaned down to where she could kiss him, which she did. "I would. But only if Spike isn't told. At least not yet."

"I think that could be arranged."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Carly moved back in with Bumblebee and Spike when they returned from the mission, but she would slip out a couple times a week for a bit of fun with Ironhide. And it was Ironhide who surprised her one night by arranging a meeting between her and Bumblebee in the berth, Spike being well away on a mission with Cosmos. At first the yellow minibot was astonished to learn what Ironhide and Carly had been up to for the past month, but after the surprise wore off, he was eager to try himself. Wayward thoughts and desires he'd suppressed when she'd cuddled against him for warmth were suddenly no longer inappropriate.

And one night when Carly had a fever, First Aid joined the group. Ironhide, worried about her health, had summoned the Protectobot in the middle of the night, knowing that he had taken an interest in human medical practices and had gone so far as to study human medicine and become a certified paramedic. First Aid hurried to Ironhide's quarters and despite Carly's insistence that she "just had a bug" was made to examine her thoroughly. A sudden mission the next day called Ironhide and Bumblebee away, and the two insisted that First Aid keep a close watch on her. Ironhide explained to him that keeping a close watch also meant that he was to keep her warm at night while she recharged, and to give her a nice warming up if she showed even the slightest bit of need.

Returning five days later they found the Protectobots were all suddenly huge fans of Carly and all held Ironhide in some awe for something other than his service record to the faction.

"It's the gestalt link" Bumblebee decided. "They all pick up on a bit of First Aid's state of mind whether they know why or not."

As for Carly, she still found it a bit strange that Ironhide would so willingly share her with a couple of friends. But the more she learned of Autobot relationships the more normal it seemed. Apparently there were two other such relationships going on aboard the Ark at the same time. Prowl had taken Bluestreak under his wing... literally. And Trailbreaker had taken it upon himself to educate the amiable Sludge. Intimate closeness was a normal and necessary thing for them. A mech without a lover or two was seen as either deviant or pitiable. A willing celibate was considered a pervert to a minor degree.

And so the days passed wonderfully, Carly enjoying the affections of her alien lovers and Spike being kept blissfully unaware.

-o-o-o-o-o-

" **Wayward Phrases" continues in Chapter 3: "Making Noise"**

-o-o-o-o-o-

 _Transformers_ and all related concepts, characters, worlds, and events are property of Hasbro and Takara Tomy. Original characters and story elements are property of E. Potter, writing under the pen name of Miratete.


	3. Making Noise

**Wayward Phrases**

-o-o-o-o-o-

 **Chapter 3: Making Noise**

-o-o-o-o-o-

Spike came into Bumblebee's quarters quietly, expecting to find him and Carly asleep at the hour. What he wasn't expecting was finding Carly draped in slumber atop Bumblebee's chestplates, the girl completely nude, unless one counted the blanket covering her from the thighs down. The room felt unusually warm.

He was both astounded and titillated, and his thoughts began racing. Finding Carly sprawled out without a stitch on was exciting, but why was she in that state? She always wore pajamas. And why atop Bumblebee? Honestly, it looked as if they'd fallen asleep after having sex.

And whose feet were those hanging off the end of the berth? As his eyes had adjusted to the dimness of the room, it had become obvious there were two mechs in the berth, the other one lying perpendicularly, mostly covered up by Bumblebee's canvas blanket. A sick feeling coiled through his stomach, and felt as if he'd walked in on something he shouldn't and didn't really want to see.

And then Spike grasped his dilemma. Should he wake the three and start asking questions? Surely there was a good explanation that didn't involve some uncomfortable answer. These guys were robots. They didn't have sex. Or did they? Some did seem to be involved romantically with each other. Or should he slip away quietly and let things sort themselves out before he commed and announced he was returning earlier than expected. He could then officially return to the room and see what he should be seeing.

Suddenly a comm pinged loudly and the unknown mech stirred, followed by Bumblebee and Carly. "Yeah? Red? Mirage is back? Prowl's office?"

Spike cringed. Those were Jazz's feet.

Meanwhile Bumblebee had sat up slightly, Carly with him, and he was kissing her softly, but quite passionately, his black hands caressing her skin with ever such grace.

Spike trembled. This was definitely wrong.

"He's here with me," Jazz continued. "Sure. We'll be there in about ten minutes."

Bumblebee gave a moping groan on hearing Jazz's half of the conversation.

"Make that twenty minutes, Red. Someone is insisting on a good-morning cuddle," he laughed. And then he sat up and threw off the sheet. "Mirage is back early and Prowl's called a meeting," Jazz told Bumblebee.

"I guess that means Spike and Sparkplug will be home as well. You'd better get some clothes on, dear," Bumblebee said to Carly with obvious concern.

Jazz stretched toward the others and kissed Carly between her shoulder blades, Carly closing her eyes and leaning back against the mech's face. "Don't want Spike to catch ya' out of your armor."

"Too late..." came the voice from across the room.

Three heads whipped about and spotted Spike in the shadows. Carly yanked the blanket up over herself.

"Spike!" Carly gasped. "You're home early."

He stepped forward, the three on the berth all looking aghast at being caught by the boy.

"Yes, I'm home. And... and..."

"Yeah..." drawled Bumblebee. "I guess this looks pretty bad."

"It does. You look like... well. You were kissing her... And..." He could not get the words out.

Jazz hopped off of the berth. "It should, because that's exactly what was going on," he admitted. And then he crouched down, gave Spike one of his famous wicked grins, and patted the boy on the shoulder. "You are so going to love reaching eighteen years old." And then he moved for the door. "See you in Prowl's office in twenty minutes," he called cheerily to Bumblebee. "I'm headed for the racks first. Let me know if I need to do any damage control." And with that he was out the door.

Bumblebee slapped a hand over his face, and Carly was hoping that the blanket would somehow absorb her or teleport her away. This was bad.

"Jazz was teasing, wasn't he? Please tell me he was just joking around," Spike coughed.

Bumblebee shook his head. "He wasn't kidding."

Spike made something of a noise between a choke and a sob and a sniffle. And with a definite sob he bolted from the room.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Carly moved in permanently with Ironhide that day not long after Spike came in, grabbed his things, and declared that he never wanted to see her or Bumblebee again, despite Bumblebee trying to explain the situation, Spike moved in with Hound and Trailbreaker four doors down.

Sparkplug, having soon heard about some drama between Spike and Carly but not getting an answer from his son, was at a loss as to what had split up the pair, until he comm'ed Bumblebee a few days later and demanded that the mech tell him. Bumblebee, still quite upset over the matter, came in and told Sparkplug everything as the human worked at his bench.

"A what relationship? With Ironhide?" He seemed more concerned with Carly dating a much, much older man and Ironhide's possibly taking advantage of her than he was about his son's loss. The fact that she was involved with a robot, or three, didn't even seem to phase him.

Bumblebee sighed. "It's a normal thing for us. I was in that sort of a relationship twice. It's not bad for a younger person. It's sorta like having a romance teacher."

"He's not hurting her though, is he?"

"Of course not."

He looked up from the circuit conduit he was rewiring for Ratchet. "And you're not hurting her either."

"Of course not," Bumblebee said, astounded that Sparkplug would even think he or the others might be less than gentle with the human girl. The four of them had all been extra careful with her delicate organic frame. The extent of any injuries she'd received over the past four months were a few scratches and a few minor burns, and those could all be directly tied to her unbridled enthusiasm in reaching into their frames.

Sparkplug turned back to his work. "Well in that case it's her choice. I mean, she's always been attracted to you guys. And I know that she and Spike have been more of friends than of lovers. I suppose if he were older things would be different." He withdrew the pliers from the circuits and leaned onto the conduit. "Really I wondered why they ever got together in the first place. I guess it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

-o-o-o-o-o-

And while Sparkplug may have been rational about the breakup, Spike handled it with far less grace. He shot angry glances at Carly whenever he encountered her. Whenever Bumblebee tried to talk to him, he refused to listen and stormed off, usually muttering something about a backstabbing. Jazz and Ironhide got the same treatment. Only First Aid was spared—his name never having been brought into the affair.

Spike's frustration came to a head when late one night in the rec-room he caught Carly behaving a little too familiarly with Ironhide for a public situation.

"Dad! I want to move out of the Ark! I can't stand being here any more," he demanded the next morning. Thankfully neither Brawn or Huffer, his father's roommates, were around.

Sparkplug looked up from his coffee and newspaper. "This is about Carly, isn't it?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Of course it's about Carly. She was making out on the couch with Ironhide in the rec-room last night. And who knows what she was groping under his armor. I couldn't see her hands. And earlier yesterday she and Jazz were flirting, and he was even singing to her. And I keep seeing her going into Ironhide's or Bumblebee's quarters and it's disgusting what she does with them in there. At least what I think they're doing."

Sparkplug tried not to laugh. As amusing as it was this was serious business for a sixteen-year old. Instead he sipped his coffee thoughtfully and then fixed his eyes on his son. "Why are you so jealous over her? What's changed?"

"Dad! Duh! My girlfriend was cheating on me with my best friend. But she's also been sleeping with two other guys that I used to think of as friends. And they're not even human, and not even her size! Suddenly she's Miss Popular around here, but only because she's being all slutty."

"Spike. I can see why you think that. And it sure looks that way."

"Looks? It is that way."

Sparkplug set aside his newspaper and bid his son to sit.

The teenager plopped down heavily and lay his arms on the table, placing his head atop them. "How could she do this to me?" he moaned.

"Spike, I talked to Brawn and Huffer about this, and to Ratchet, and Wheeljack, and Jazz too."

Spike groaned. "Great... I'm sure everybody knows now."

"They already did. And I've learned a whole lot more than I ever wanted to know about Cybertronian relationships and sex, but I figured that I should understand this. That's what the government is paying me to do here. To try to understand."

"Yeah well you can tell the government that the Autobots are a bunch of girlfriend-stealing jerks."

Sparkplug allowed himself a little chuckle. "According to the Cybertronian way of things, Ironhide and the others were helping out your relationship with Carly, knowing that you were too young yet for her."

"What? Helping? That's a load of slag!"

Sparkplug smiled at his son's use of Cybertronian phrasings, the boy often preferring them over those of his own people. "They felt they were, even knowing of the cultural difference. They see this as keeping her happy and in the fold until you're ready for her."

"How is that 'helping?' Hmmm?"

"Look, you and Carly decided to wait a few years before... getting intimate. I'm proud of you for that. And of her. It's a smart decision. But she's much older, and well... older people like sharing a bed." Sparkplug hoped he wasn't sounding as awkward as this felt to be saying. "Ironhide, noticing that she was older, wanted to help out, and... to basically get her ready for you when you were older yourself."

Spike squeezed his eyes shut. "This is just weird. It's just weird."

"It's not for them. Apparently this is a very normal sort of relationship on Cybertron. They don't always see things the way we do."

"And is her being a slut normal too? She's sleeping with three different guys. C'mon."

"According to Ratchet, this relationship is quite normal for their culture. And three is by no means considered excessive." He withheld the fact that Ratchet had corrected him on the number, revealing that his warm-hearted Protectobot assistant sometimes took Carly to his berth as well.

"How can that be normal?"

"Spike. Look at it. They're giant alien robots from another planet, who have lived millions of years. They've had a culture and civilization that's been around since long before we even came down out of the trees, so to speak. Their version of normal isn't going to be the same as ours."

"And their version of normal includes their girlfriends sleeping with anyone they want to?!" he asked challengingly.

"They believe that having multiple relationships is a good thing. Especially for someone who's young, and especially for there to be an older partner looking after the younger and keeping things calm and safe."

"But what about me! They didn't tell me this or even ask if it was okay!"

"Because they didn't expect you to understand. And obviously you didn't."

Defeated, Spike slumped down on the table again. "She was my girlfriend first..." he moaned dejectedly.

"And still would be, if you hadn't broken up with her. They were expecting that when you reached eighteen, that everything would proceed as you and Carly had planned."

"Well I guess that won't be happening. She's got three giant robot boyfriends instead."

Sparkplug put his hand atop his son's. "Spike, it still can happen, but only if you're willing to accept that she's gone over to their way of doing things. And you'd have to be willing to share her."

"Ugh... that's disgusting."

"I know. Sex always is disgusting when you get down to it." Sparkplug patted the hand he held. "Give it some thought. Decide how you want to handle this. Decide which cultural approach you want to take. I'm okay with either. And to answer your original demand, no, we're not moving out. The government's paying me well enough to hang out here and write reports. So either you have to make peace with Carly, or you have to just deal with having your ex-girlfriend under the same roof. You know they're paying her to be here as well."

"Jeeze!" Spike groaned and buried his face in his arms again.

-o-o-o-o-o-

" **Wayward Phrases" concludes in Chapter 4: "Making Peace"**

-o-o-o-o-o-

 _Transformers_ and all related concepts, characters, worlds, and events are property of Hasbro and Takara Tomy. Original characters and story elements are property of E. Potter, writing under the pen name of Miratete.


	4. Making Peace

**Wayward Phrases**

-o-o-o-o-o-

 **Chapter 4: Making Peace**

-o-o-o-o-o-

Carly opened the door to the knock, and it was with no surprise that she saw Spike standing there, a box of grocery-store chocolates and an inexpensive bouquet of flowers in his hand. "Yes?". Sparkplug had messaged her earlier and let her know what was about to transpire, and to please go easy on the boy if she didn't want to put their relationship back together. They did still have to live in some proximity to each other.

"Carly? Um... I brought you something..." he said awkwardly, proffering the gifts.

"Really? Oh... Well, thank you." She tried to sound unsuspecting. Carly took the flowers, smelled them appreciatively, and then opened the box of chocolates and popped one in her mouth before insisting that he have one too.

"I... I wanted to apologize for being a jerk a few weeks ago. And for breaking up with you like that."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I kinda reacted badly."

"I forgive you. We had been hiding it from you."

"And I understand why. I guess I would have hidden it too, if I were in your shoes."

"Spike? Do you want to talk about it?"

He poked at a seam in the floor. "Well sorta. I've been thinking about you a lot."

"Shall we sit down?" She gestured into the room.

"Um, sure..."

Carly found a vase-like metal cylinder to put the flowers into, filled it with water, and arranged them prettily as Spike glanced about the room noticing her things scattered amongst Ironhide's. She'd definitely moved in with him with some degree of permanence. Her bathrobe hung next to the sink. A lacy tablecloth draped over the coffee table, atop which lay several trashy celebrity-gossip magazines, one of Carly's guilty pleasures. Her coffee-maker and microwave sat plugged in atop the desk. He cringed on looking at the berth. There were a lot more fancy cushions and comfortable-looking blankets on it than would be normal for a macho Autobot warrior.

After placing the flowers onto the desktop, she ate a couple more chocolates and then hopped up into the huge chair opposite the one Spike had taken.

"Look, Carly. I've been thinking about it, and I miss you."

She smiled inside. Knowing Spike's pride, that had taken a lot of courage, and probably a lot of practice to say.

"I was kinda hoping maybe we could be friends again, like we used to be."

"Like we used to be?"

"I guess, I must not have been that great a boyfriend. I mean, I guess you're happier with Ironhide and … and… and the others."

"Ironhide's... just different for me. I've been learning a lot from him. But I thought you were great as a boyfriend. A bit too young perhaps, but you looked after me on missions and cared about my feelings and always talked to me."

"But you obviously needed more."

"I guess I did."

"We agreed..."

"We did."

He took a deep breath. "So, if you'd like to be friends again, like we were, I'm okay if you still keep... living with Ironhide... and hanging out with Bumblebee and Jazz. I miss Bumblebee so much, and I want to be friends with him again."

Carly could see that he was fighting not to cry. The loss had hurt him perhaps more than she'd expected. And it seemed that he'd matured considerably in the short time that they'd been apart. "You'd be okay with that?"

"The Autobots aren't jealous, and I'm trying not to be. It's just hard to think of a relationship where one can be that close with other people. But it's normal for them. Hound and I talked, and he said it was. Sometimes two of them will pair up exclusively, but it's usually older bots that do that, and it sorta fell out of favor after the war passed the 500 centuries mark. At least that's what Traibreaker said."

"Do you think _you_ can move past this? I mean _really_ move past it?"

Spike looked over at her, the glint of tears in his eyes. "I want to. I want everyone to be happy and caring and fighting the Decepticons instead of each other."

Carly wanted to remind him that he was the only one fighting, but held her tongue. She hopped down off of her chair and moved over to stand next to Spike. "And you'd really be okay with me still living with Ironhide? And... doing what we're doing?"

"I think I can. I'm just surprised that he doesn't hurt you. Or does it hurt?" He suddenly looked down at her with great concern on his face, a concern that wasn't jealousy or indignation.

"They've been very, very careful with me."

"And... would you still be willing to get like that with me when I'm eighteen?"

She smiled and lay her hand upon his knee. "You were worth waiting for before, and you still are."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Carly curled up at Ironhide's side, sticky and sated, the two of them drifting pleasantly toward recharge. His thumb stroked absently at the month-old tattoo on her lower back between her hips, a Mars symbol interlocked with a Venus symbol. Only the ring on the Mars symbol was not a ring, but a cogwheel. "You know," said the warrior softly and sleepily, "Optimus Prime asked me today how things have been going for us and how we were getting along. So I told him."

"Oh? How did he react?"

"He was glad to hear you were enjoying it. In fact he expressed an interest in perhaps taking you to his berth some night, if you'd be up to it."

Stunned, Carly sat up. "Optimus? Really? I'm... I'm both flattered and intimidated." It was difficult to imagine that Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobot faction—perhaps the most powerful Cybertronian alive, would be interested in her. And as if that weren't intimidating enough, his sheer physical size had to be on an incomprehensible scale for any sort of union to even be possible.

"I can understand that. I felt the same way the first time he took me back to his quarters. But it's not an experience to be missed." Ironhide vented wistfully.

"Really?"

"Really. If you'd be interested, I'd be happy to arrange it for you."

She giggled and leaned against his chest and kissed the plating. "You'd play the pimp for me?"

Ironhide sat up slightly. "There's no exchange of money involved. That's not appropriate for the guardian partner. If that's what you thought was going on..."

Carly giggled again. "I was only teasing."

Ironhide sighed with relief and settled once more.

"But what about his size? He's huge compared to me. He's big even for you, isn't he?"

The mech chuckled. "Surprisingly, he's more than equipped to deal with someone of your size. It comes with the territory when you're the Prime."

"Oh really? How's that?"

He stroked her blonde head. "I'll see about introductions tomorrow. I think you'd prefer a demonstration over an explanation."

"All right. I'll trust you on this. You've not steered me wrong yet."

Ironhide shuffled his head deeper into his pillow and pulled his canvas sheet up more closely. "And I'm about to fall asleep here, so as much as I'd love to stay up chatting I'm afraid I'm going to have to say goodnight, darling."

"Mmmm," she sighed and lay back down. "I'm with you." Carly rolled onto her side and wrapped herself around Ironhide's huge dark grey hand. In a couple more years she'd be falling asleep in Spike's arms... her faithful human boyfriend who'd made one more step into fully embracing the Autobot culture. And as she headed for slumber, she thought of the four mechs she called her lovers:

Ironhide... loving and enthusiastic but with an unexpected gentleness in his touch.

Bumblebee... carefree and lighthearted, and heavily into having her hands enmeshed tightly within his wires and circuitry.

First Aid... reserved and clinical until he got her clothes and his mask off, at which point he became the Cybertronian version of the Kama Sutra.

Jazz... dramatic and unpredictable. She couldn't help but wonder how much of his special-ops training got put to use in the berth.

Her thoughts bounced between the memories of the mechs she'd bedded and into the intriguing possibility of bedding Optimus Prime himself. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that she would ever become so close to these giant alien robots, at least close in this manner. What a strange twist of fate a bit linguistic misunderstanding had brought about.

-o-o-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

 **The End**

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-o-o-o-o-

 **Need more funny-sexy stories? Check out my other stories in the "Wayward" series:**

 **Wayward Kisses** \- Spike falls for a femme.

 **Wayward Lessons** \- Jazz seems to have gotten Cosmos pregnant.

 **Wayward Colors** \- Carly's new car attracts a lot of attention.

-o-o-o-o-o-

 _Transformers_ and all related concepts, characters, worlds, and events are property of Hasbro and Takara Tomy. Original characters and story elements are property of E. Potter, writing under the pen name of Miratete.

-o-o-o-o-o-

 **Author's Notes:**

 **Carly's Tattoo** – I absolutely love the final scene of this story, a very happy Carly having found her place regarding relationships. The tattoo really sums it all up. And it's really a funny concept if you watch G1 season three and beyond episodes, or the Headmasters series, and wonder if she's still not exclusively Spike's.

 **The Reason this fic exists –** The following is a transcription of part of Ron Algar Watt's YouTube review #37 of the Transformers G1 episode "Desertion of the Dinobots: Part 1."

"Man that opens up a whole world of questions. Number one would be: 'How did Carly know exactly where Bumblebee's pleasure button was?' We haven't seen her for about fourteen episodes, and when we saw her last she had an unmistakable fetish for robots. How exactly has she been passing the time since then?"

 **When it was three-fourths written, I discovered there was a request for it on Tfanonkink:**

REQ: G1, Carly/Ironhide, xenophilia, carly is adventurous (and borderline technosexual)

2012-12-24

Ironhide really, really wasn't expecting to be the first Cybertronian to interface with a human. He doesn't think of himself as particularly experimental, but damned if he can say no to this odd, endearing little creature.

I just really want to see confident, happily perverted Carly talking Ironhide into all sorts of things he never thought of before. I'd like to see her with an honest kink for machinery even before the Autobots showed up. Non-sticky preferred, just to up the xeno factor.


End file.
